Hi, today I am going to be showing you my empathy-based writing this week, named ¨Umbrella¨. Our goal was to use a range of written features to engage the audience, use simple and compound sentences with a variety of beginnings, lengths and structures, use some complex sentences to create pace, flow and interest & ensure that most writing is grammatically correct. Me and other peers in a group got help from a teacher to type down this text.
Umbrella
Early one stormy morning, the door to Miss Elm’s Home For Children opened wide. The girl with the vibrant sunflower yellow umbrella, limped nervously into the orphanage before finding a home for her umbrella. Not wanting to be seen, Boris swiftly twirled his head around the door frame so that he was hidden from view. Standing off to the side, the girl gazed at the glorious scene while the children searched in the box for once-loved companions. The girl grinned as she observed the young boy zooming around the room like a bolt of lightning. Her smile melted abruptly as she looked back at the umbrella stand and all that was left was a few dirty puddles. Her precious umbrella had vanished.
Hi, Gus.
ReplyDeleteGood job with that Umbrella writing! It is very descriptive. I think I can spot the simile. Is it zooming around the room like a bolt of lightning?
- Izzy